Today we are tackling one of the most difficult and sensitive subjects to talk about. Unfortunately South Africa is known for its extremely high rate of sexual abuse, especially in townships like Khayelitsha. Children with disabilities run even a greater risk of being abused because of their perceived vulnerability and inability to defend themselves. It is no surprise that in previous sessions this came to light as a major concern for the participating mothers. In addition, topics such as alcoholism, crime and domestic violence invade our conversations regularly.

As it seems pertinent to discuss these issues in greater detail, but considering my non psycho-social background, we decide to bring in an expert to lead this session. This morning Mrs. Sadiku from the Thuthuzela Care Centre in Khayelitsha guides us through the emotional, frustrating and sometimes utterly devastating process of acknowledging past and present experiences and worries for the future. The much acclaimed centres of Thuthuzela, which stands for ‘comfort’ in the Xhosa language, ‘aim to reduce secondary trauma for the victim, improve perpetrator conviction rates and reduce the lead time for finalising cases’ (see http://www.unicef.org/southafrica/hiv_aids_998.html). Their knowledge about all forms of (sexual) abuse and aftercare is tremendous, and their impact in South African communities significant. We are very lucky to have Mrs. Sadiku with us today.

During the session, each mother is provided ample time to tell about her experiences, her questions and her worries in a group conversation. The stories stir up emotions in all of us. Mrs. Sadiku carefully answers all questions, comforts the women, and provides referral information and practical advice. She goes on to explain the risks of sexual abuse, how to recognize occurred abuse of your child, and how to act in such a situation. Though prevention is easier said than done, Mrs. Sadiku does make some valid points on prevention which seem to resonate with the mothers.

It is humbling and encouraging to see how these women, in such a short time, have fostered an intimate connection with each other to be able to discuss such a sensitive subject. This form of trust will prove essential in the near future when the group will work towards actively tackling such issues. 

Baby steps towards learning and action. In previous group sessions, various issues arose that the mothers indicated they wanted to see change. For example not being able to do physical exercises with their children at home, daily care struggles such as feeding, and mobility issues. As the pilot-project in Zimbabwe and the previous group at Kuti’s Day care centre had shown, the dynamics of an action research project in Khayelitsha need flexibility and adaptation. Whereas in literature one can read about active participants who come to a sense of understanding of their own struggles and how to change them, in Khayelitsha the mere fact of getting people together and having them sharing their life is a struggle. I am proud that this group of mothers is showing up every single week, and are actively conversing about their daily life struggles. However, a vision of possibilities for change, ideas and suggestions on what to do, and a firm belief in their own power is not yet present. Therefore I decided that the process of so-called conscientization needs to be prolonged and slightly adapted. I want to expose them to as much information and examples as possible to bring about a shared understanding of what is ‘out there’ and what might be possible. I believe this will go a long way for them to formulate their goals, express their ideas for change, and set up small-scale projects next year. 

So today in our group session, we are taking baby steps towards learning and action. Three incredibly kind ladies from the organisation Senecio have agreed to give a training on physical care struggles. They are a physiotherapist, an occupational therapist and a speech therapist, specialized in children with disabilities. The full session is dedicated to learning on stretching exercises, how to place your child is his wheelchair properly and comfortably, on easing feeding issues and much much more. The team of Senecio is patient, kind and very knowledgeable. The mothers are clearly learning new techniques that they were not aware off before. And more importantly, they were able and eager to learn more about the possibilities for improvement for their children. One mother mentioned: ‘ I never knew that with the proper training, Bongi can actually learn to walk. Her foot has always been like this, so she can only crawl. If I had only known before’. I am hoping that these forms of training combined with our group discussions will inspire new ideas, creativity and project suggestions. 

Two weeks and two sessions have passed. A bit to my own surprise, the group continues to grow. It seems like the word is getting out there in Khayelitsha. The participating mothers are bringing in their neighbours, church friends and even family members. I am grateful that these mothers are taking the time to join us and continue to participate. With a bigger group present, the discussions and conversations are getting more intense. The mothers are recognizing themselves in each other. This often leads to tearful, but warm and healing talks. In addition, a sense of understanding is gained by both the mothers and myself. A sense of what the main challenges are, what the struggles are, and what would be important to change. This is what action research is about. A process of so-called ‘conscientization’ in which the mothers are gaining critical awareness of their reality and are uncovering their problems and actual needs. By using creative methods such as ranking, drawing and a form of vignettes, we have engaged in talks on their hopes for the future, their biggest worries, their ideas on what disability is, and their notions of care. In the next coming sessions, we will discuss more about their needs, their children’s needs, their challenges and their vision for change. And lucky us, we got the infamous Vivian Zilo on board. She is the impassioned founder and director of Iliso Care Society[1] which runs 26 community projects in Khayelitsha. She has offered to be a mentor to this group of women in the next coming months. Last Saturday she gave an encouraging and though-provoking speech on empowerment. On how forming alliances, establishing support groups and growing one strong voice, can move mountains. Her speech resonated with many of the mothers, and felt like the proverbial first step to change. Soon more…

[1] http://ilisocare.org.za/